Category: #Leucky

I received more cards from another third grade class, this time from a teacher friend in New York State. Unlike my previous reaction to a similar situation, I decided to write an actual response to the class. Hopefully they are able to get something out of it!

Dear Mrs. Mellon’s Third Grade Class,

“Your Heart should be filled with Happiness, Not Sadness” – That is a quote from one of your cards…and you have no idea how right you are.

Please allow me to express my sincerest gratitude to your entire class for the wonderful care package of cards, letters, stories, words of wisdom and art projects that I received in the mail. If you do not remember, my name is Jason and I am a very good friend of Mrs. Mellon’s.

I live in Denver, Colorado (somebody get up and point to that on the map right now, I’M SERIOUS. Now point to Rochester, New York. DO IT.) Now somebody raise their hand and tell Mrs. Mellon one fact about Denver or Colorado. Good job. Any others?

Continue reading Appropriate for Third Graders (Really!)

A few days ago I received a cryptic text message from a dear friend that lives in California:

“I have a friend dropping off a package for you in the next few days. What hours can we work with? It is important that you are there and awake.”

“Is it a stripper or anything weird? Don’t forget that I am in an oncology ward,” I reminded.

“No comment,” He said. This is when my concerns began. They grew with his expressions of mirthful mischief as we worked out a time that coincided with me being super high on hospital drugs immediately following a medical procedure. Whatever this was going to be be had me horrified.

Continue reading The Singing Telegram of Friendship

I’m going to let you in on a secret. So far my #leuck levels have kept me slightly beyond the reach of the long arm of the Leukemia Law, but there is a chance that I’ll be karmically asphyxiated by my own IV line for sharing this with you:

Cancer can be beautiful.

It goes against all thought, reason, logic and belief that something synonymous with death, decay, destruction and unspeakable heartache can be beautiful…

But cancer CAN be beautiful and it IS beautiful…. if you look at it right.

We all have an image of cancer ingrained in our minds. Every person on this earth has been touched by cancer, most likely in the most negative way possible. This negativity automatically evokes tragic images of suffering, loss, sadness and pain. They probably look something like this (but far worse in most cases):

Continue reading The Cancer Perception

Among blood clots, bed sores and other physical ailments caused by sedentary life in the oncology ward there is another,  even more dangerous enemy: Cabin Fever.  The doctors want us to keep on our feet as much as we can because being physically healthy is a healthy idea when you are already unhealthy and blah blah blah ugggghhh shut up I’m not listening. My doctor threatened to light a few matches under my shoe earlier today if I didn’t make an effort to get some hallway time (similarly to when we throw a racket ball down my apartment hallway for Dumb Dumb Ruby to chase). We’re supposed to walk three miles a day,  the hallway of the oncology unit is 28 laps to a mile, and the hallway looks like this:

Compare that close-out WalGreens aisle to the sexual vibrancy of color, light and magic that exists within the confines of my Studio 54 Quarantania:

There is a clear winner when it comes to inviting atmospheres, and it surely isn’t the neutered network of fluorescent vas deferen outside my door. I tried to convince my doctors and RNs that I get plenty of exercise by bouncing my legs along to the sweet jams I be pumpin’ in here all day long but they still insist upon the fact that I leave my room and exercise my dumb body, despite the fact that I’ve been spending 30 years purposely punishing it.

I decided, regardless, to be a good little patient tonight and venture out into the vapid hallway… but on MY terms. I wasn’t just going to walk up and down the hallways like your local mall’s Bitchin Blue-Hair Betty Brigade… No, I WAS GOING ON AN ADVENTURE.

Continue reading Staving off Cabin Fever: Hunting for RNs

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I’m up all night to get blood
I’m up all night to get some
I’m up all night for nurse fun
We’re up all night to get #LEUCKY

The night between the 26th and 27th, my night nurse came in to check my vitals at midnight. I had taken my nightly Ambien (totally necessary to sleep while roiding out on Prednisone) so I was toeing the line of consciousness that exists only if you’ve forced yourself to stay awake for longer than 48 straight hours. I’m talking total misunderstanding of your own ego, the point where you aren’t sure if you are in a dream or if you ever even knew what a dream was to begin with.

Continue reading We’re Up all Night to get Leucky